8. The Day I Flew Over The Cuckoos Nest

-
On the 2nd of July 2013 I was admitted to L'Établissement Public de Santé Mentale, Saint Avé near Vannes, France, to ward "Unité des Sources". The month I spent in hospital was to be one of the most bizarre, surreal, frightening, enlightening and amazing experiences of my life, but despite this it took another 3 G.P's, several more journeys through a range of antidepressants, and a kindly lady psychiatrist before I was properly diagnosed and treated. I have type two bipolar disorder which means I get all the downs, but non of the ups. I take Quetiapine, an antipsychotic which appears to suit me well, and for the first time in years I feel I might finally be safe from myself.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

4. My Seroplex, SSRI Antidepressant Weaning Programme to Download

-
When I suddenly decided to stop taking my Seroplex after a year of being on them, I found myself having bizarre and alarming physical symptoms, along with disturbing nightmares. What I was experiencing was a well documented condition known as  SSRI Discontinuation Syndrome. It occurs between one day and one week after reducing or completely discontinuing an SSRI Antidepressant.  The patient information leaflet which comes with every box of SSRI's acknowledges the possibility of "intolerable" reactions upon discontinuation of the treatment and advises  gradual weaning under careful surveillance over a period of several months. Unfortunately  it seems it isn't uncommon for Family Doctors (G.P's) to have little or no  knowledge of the debilitating and unpleasant symptoms associated with the discontinuation of treatment, so is often poorly managed. In my own case my G.P virtually dismissed their existence altogether.  Without the support of my Doctor I was
Read more

5. Oh Yeah Life goes On, Long After The Thrill Of Livin' Is Gone

-
It's a funny thing depression, you really don't know that it's happening to you the first time, or rather you don't know that it's depression. You know you feel like shit but can't put your finger on it. It just creeps up on you and before you know it you have become somebody else, suspended in this weird place where everything seems pointless, tiresome, and too much trouble to bother yourself with. Y ou just have to hope that either some one finds you and brings you back, or that your sense of self preservation will kick in and you'll call for help.   I was 46 when it happened to me and I still can't think of a single reason why it happened. I have heard depression described as many things, The Black Dog being a popular one after Winston Churchill used it to refer to his own black moods. For me it felt like I was dragging round a bag of rocks in my stomach the whole time. I'm not even sure I noticed that the "thrill of living" had ev
Read more

6. Self Deliverance and other short stories.

-
I have been trying to write this post for about a month now but just can't seem to get anywhere with it. Maybe it is because I am not ready to revisit that period of my life, or am afraid that I have become desensitised to the idea of taking ones own life and am afraid of offending or shocking. Unfortunately I think it may have more to do with the shame and guilt I feel about it all than anything else.  I recently caught up with an old friend through one of the social network sites having lost touch some 20 odd years ago. I wrote, saying that my life had turned out pretty good apart from having been ill a couple of years ago - I didn't say what had been wrong with me. He wrote back saying that he too had been ill around the same time and had been treated for cancer. I instantly regretted mentioning I had been unwell as I knew I would have to tell my story at some point or other and I was ashamed of it. In feeling such shame I have been unfaithful to both myself and other s
Read more